THE MACHINE IS MANKIND'S MADNESS

Fake friend accumulator and glorified address book Facebook (also social networking, where I guess you network your socials. Mine is a lvl 73 Venusaur. LET'S DANCE.) has been on my mind lately, if only because it's become the latest useless, flailing appendage of my online persona (insert self-aware pause here). I scarcely use it anymore, save to upload embarrassing pictures of myself, red-faced and four sheets to the wind, at some dive bar with my disreputable pals; this phenomena is, in itself, worth analysis, though maybe later. I've got complaining to do. And did you know that 30 Rock is watchable, like, for free? And legal? THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD OR AT LEAST REALLY REALLY DISTRACTING.

Instant online communication, (OH LIZ LEMON YOU'RE SO FUNNY) whether it be through our own tawdry AIMing back and forth (Keep an eye open for the glorious return of chat transcript Fridays!) or the glorified note-passing that comes with Facebook and Gmail, is typically grounded in real life communication. At least anecdotally, all of the people I know solely from the internets have very little influence on my lifestyle - my fabulous lifestyle. Contrariwise, even with people that I know temporarily or, say, from High School, I tend to at least humor. The aggregation of social capital may be modified by online mediums, but it is still, gratefully, grounded in real life communication.

Which can be distressing for a young blog out on the mean streets of Technorati Town (the meanest part of Internet City), because with you, our reader, our influence is, at best, only third or fourth place in how you schedule your lives. The rapid access to communications from all around the world mean that someone from Zimbabwe can become a rabid devotee of beardo and ur-nerd Warren Ellis as easily as the next skinny pale kid (kaff kaff Zachary kaff). Social capital (OR IS IT CAPITULATION?) has become a global thing, then, when one weirdo can influence another from around the world! It's a mixed bag, of course - scientists (and their science) have seen that this becomes a normalizing force in small doses, i.e. that sure, students will do well in the areas of their focus in areas with high social capital, but also that deviance and creative endeavors will suffer. Culture spreads, and Ellis is suddenly effing everywhere.

Speaking of which (science, not Ellis), one prominent Scientician of the sociomological subcategory (IT'S IN THE WIKIPEDIA AM TOO LAZY TO LINK WAAAH WAAAH) stated his belief that this social capital is, in the United States, decreasing. As a whole. The ramifications for this are strange - does it mean that influence is more tangible than previously thought? Is it being disseminated about the rest of the world on strange trade winds of Myspace and Facebook? Or are we just becoming a nation of sociopaths, unable and unwilling to consider our fellow man as anything other than a walking meat puppet?

I can personally hope not. Scorn is the appropriate response to anyone who has 300 facebook friends but still has loneliness. They are treating online personae as cosmetics, a way of appearing healthier than they really are. It's not so much that the tangible measure of our friendliness is decreasing, says I, but rather a sign that the convenience of easy online contact has made us socially lazy (in addition to physically and mentally. Michelle Obama speaks sad truths sometimes.), and that has, in turn, made us kind of crazy. Crazy enough to say that we have 500 friends around the world when OMG wouldn't that make you insane? I can barely stand talking to three people per day, much less more than a dozen.

I am certain that more severe authors would make mention of the castration of modern mankind, but it's nothing so severe. Like so many things, we simply need to work at it, to do silly things, to like or like to hate (in a productive way, like how I feel for Zachary!) someone, and find other people who feel the same. While it is certainly callow to quantify your relationships with other people, on the other hand, it's naive (and arrogant) to presume that people will like you simply because of the your own sparkling personality; a happy balance in any relationship must be reached between giving and taking, as with all things. And while social networking websites are a nice and easy (and riddled with STDS DON'T BE FOOLED) way to meet new people, they still do not replace the quality work out there in the trenches of actually saying hello to strangers, and the giddy rush that goes along with it.

The internet is a marvelous tool, but it is far from a foundation upon which lives should be built. Go forth, then, gentle reader, and at least be more aware of balancing your life between sitting in front of a glowing screen and sitting before another human being. I mean, come on, I know we're pretty awesome here, but resisting the siren song will make you a more interesting person.