Demos: And I Begin the Longest Year Ever

A couple things: 

First: Yes, I'm still doing this in the new year.

Second: I was asked to submit a column of advice for freshmen. This is what I wrote.

Third: I don't know when Tom, Zach or Jack is going to update.

Fourth: I still have big plans regarding guest columnists.

Fifth: The title is a Distance song that has always intrigued me since I heard it. I like the way it rolls off the tongue, and the weight that goes with the phrase. You know what's coming, but you don't know how or from where.

My advice for freshmen is fairly simple: the best way to figure out what to do is to make mistakes. So, get them all out of the way quickly.

I suggest the following:
+Start drinking Tuesday night so that you go to your Wednesday 8 a.m. class with a brutal hangover as soon as possible, without even the glimmer of Friday to look forward to. Why? So you know how terrible it is and how little you want that feeling in the future.

+The very next night, buy three cans of Red Bull and mix it with Ritalin. If you don't die, you'll learn the important lessons of a) not taking everything you read in this paper seriously and b) doing your work ahead of schedule.

+Take the money you'd spend on a fake ID ($150 in my neck of the woods) and cover at any local bar and put the bills slowly in the toilet over the course of 10 minutes while weeping softly. Congratulations, you've just gotten the feeling of getting that fake ID confiscated by the police and kicked out of the bar without having anything on your record or spending a night in holding.

+Get drunk the night before a test and fail it. (In this case, the sooner, the better.) You've just learned not to do that again.

My real bitty-bites of advice are as follows. Most of these are details in a college life. The major ideas (go to class, don't accept drinks from strangers at parties, do work in advance, explore Meadville) the school, teachers and random upperclassmen will tell you. You don't need me to reinforce that. So, in an effort to be useful, I solicited advice from carefully chosen members of the community who had different experiences than I did. Their suggestions are marked with an asterisk, because it's easier than acquiring the ability to use their full names here.

1) Make silly mistakes. Often. (You won't be able to avoid the big mistakes.)

2) Don't take yourself too seriously.

3) Listen more often you speak.

*4) Get to know upperclassmen.

5) Participate in campus life.

6) Take chances.

7) The Pittsburgh Bagel Company is worth getting up before 9 a.m. and walking down the hill for.

8) Buy tooth whitening gum. Lots of it.

9) Get a flash drive.

*10) Talk to your friends when you're in an academic or emotional rut.

11) Your raid group will understand if you have a paper due the next day. Your professor will not understand the reverse.

*12) There is no shame in recognizing your limits, academic, alcoholic or otherwise.

13) Give the benefit of the doubt.

*14) It's not worth a piece of your soul. In other words, remember to have fun, too.

15) Overloading on coursework and activities does not make you special or awesome.

16) If it's not on campus, start it.

17) Go to at least one fraternity or sorority event and use that experience, along with conversations from people involved with those groups to make a decision on whether it's for you.

*18) Julian's is a fantastic restaurant for almost any occasion.

*19) College is a small place, so word gets around about Saturday night by Sunday morning.

*20) Have an idea of the person you want to be when you graduate, and try to act accordingly.

*21) Building secretaries can be more helpful than you realize. Get to know them.

Finally, hardest of all, and perhaps most important: Get uncomfortable. One learns nothing staying in their bubble. I certainly learned quite a bit by being dead wrong and on this crucial point, I am willing to universalize my experience. To steal a line from Fugazi: Do it. Now. Do it. You have four years, and it's already ticking away. Welcome to college. Start leaving your mark.