SCIENCE TIME: Feet for the Modern World
This may come to a surprise to some of you, but I am in some respects a filthy hippie. A filthy technophile carnivorous hippie who likes fisticuffs and swordplay, but a filthy hippie nontheless.
As such, these just about made my day. (Warning: Feet.)
Yeah, that's right: science feet to wear over my regular feet! Shoes with toes, that will let me feel the pebbles without being cut or stabbed by sharp objects underfoot! All they need is variable electromechanical properties, and they're perfect superhero wall-climbing gear.
Now, in light of what I've already said, this may not surprise you, but: I hate shoes. Hate them with a burning passion. Specifically, their design. Men's shoes that are designed to be practical, like sneakers and hiking boots, are designed by the same kind of minds that brought us the great websites of ten years ago, and more than half of them cause my feet to sweat uncontrollably. I've already abandoned the majority of shoe design for dead. I own maybe two pairs of shoes, and wear the same ones every day: they are a web mesh of straps and laces, light and flexible, and they still annoy me just by existing. What I want on my feet is an impermeable second skin, a layer of dermal armor that doesn't restrict my movement. These seem to fit the bill.
I don't know if they're actual comfortable, and the designs are nothing to write home about, but I want future-feet, dammit. I will use them to leap about from table to table in the smokeless bars, making deadly slashes with my neon katana and tracking my opponents' positions through my contact-lens HUD. And then I will climb a tree, or maybe go splash around in a stream, and check my text messages.
These shoes are grade-A cyborg-ninja awesome, and I want some. Even (maybe especially) if they get me funny looks.
(Thanks, Boing Boing!)
As such, these just about made my day. (Warning: Feet.)
Yeah, that's right: science feet to wear over my regular feet! Shoes with toes, that will let me feel the pebbles without being cut or stabbed by sharp objects underfoot! All they need is variable electromechanical properties, and they're perfect superhero wall-climbing gear.
Now, in light of what I've already said, this may not surprise you, but: I hate shoes. Hate them with a burning passion. Specifically, their design. Men's shoes that are designed to be practical, like sneakers and hiking boots, are designed by the same kind of minds that brought us the great websites of ten years ago, and more than half of them cause my feet to sweat uncontrollably. I've already abandoned the majority of shoe design for dead. I own maybe two pairs of shoes, and wear the same ones every day: they are a web mesh of straps and laces, light and flexible, and they still annoy me just by existing. What I want on my feet is an impermeable second skin, a layer of dermal armor that doesn't restrict my movement. These seem to fit the bill.
I don't know if they're actual comfortable, and the designs are nothing to write home about, but I want future-feet, dammit. I will use them to leap about from table to table in the smokeless bars, making deadly slashes with my neon katana and tracking my opponents' positions through my contact-lens HUD. And then I will climb a tree, or maybe go splash around in a stream, and check my text messages.
These shoes are grade-A cyborg-ninja awesome, and I want some. Even (maybe especially) if they get me funny looks.
(Thanks, Boing Boing!)
Labels: Elevennames does not know the meaning of TMI, Feet, Science
posted by Zach Marx | 4:03 PM
1 Comments:
The whole "shoes are evil!" thing has really been going around teh intarwebs lately.
Those shoes are cool, but I can't not be creeped out by them. Some part of my brain says that toes are something only real feet have. (Toe socks are also creepy.)
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