POST NUMBER ONE HUNDRED FORTY

So I am pretty sure that I killed Captain Planet yesterday in what we shall euphemistically call a "controlled burn", designed to take care of a troublesome structure. There were no twenty foot high columns of flame, but there were plenty of clouds of black, sweet-smelling smoke, most of which scorched my lungs into ragged bands of lemonade-soaked beef jerky. Perhaps Turkey Jerky. DELICIOUS

It's Friday! Embrace your inevitable death and join us for QRAZY QUOTES!



Thomas: I WILL NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE SPONSORS
Zachary: Which one is it now?
Thomas: I will not speak of it.

Zachary: When will Thomas go back to writing every day so the rest of us can slack off?
Thomas: When he stops drinking.
Zachary: So, never?
Thomas: It may be quite a while.

Zachary: AND THE GOVERNMENT CONTROLS ALL THE LAUNDROMATS
Thomas: TINFOIL HATS NOW
Zachary: TINFOIL HATS FOR ALWAYS

Thomas: Maybe later, when we become a folk pop band.
James: This one doesn't involve us actually having to learn or be competent with instruments or have appreciable music talent.
Zachary: I HAVE VAGUELY APPRECIABLE MUSIC TALENT
Thomas: I can play the cornet!
Cathleen: I AM QUITE MUSICALLY TALENTED
Zachary: ONLY JAMES IS UNTALENTED NOW
Zachary: SUFFER, JAMES
Thomas: *WOOMWOOMWOOMWOOM*

Zachary: DAMMIT
Zachary: STOP ATTRIBUTING MY BEST TERRIBLE IDEAS TO THOMAS
Cathleen: *sigh*

Cathleen: You make me and my legitimate questions cry.

Jack: I don't mind the sexy at all.
Thomas: I would not mind the sexy, but I fear others would.
Zachary: I as well don't mind the sexy.

Zachary: We need badges, or t-shirts or something.
Zachary: So I can try to scam myself into places.
Jack: I have a button maker.
Jack: Which is different.

James: We also are not afraid of "no ghosts".
James: ...
James: *whistles*
James: Ghostbusters?
James: Anyone?
James: Jesus, it was a hit movie, what, 15 years ago?

James: *eyes*
Jack: *shoes*
Zachary: (In narrative!)
Thomas: *horses galloping along a beach*
Zachary: (...and threesomes!)
Zachary: *the letter E*
Thomas: *horse threeway on the beach*
Zachary: *with photoshop's glowing edges filter!*
James: *eyebrow*
Thomas: *LENS FLARE LOOKOU-fshhHHHHHHHHHH*
Jack: Two threesomes!

Zachary: Pretty much all you have to do to get me to do laundry and shave is question my dedication to gentlemanliness.
Jack: Hee! Cute.
James: Cute?
James: Cute?
James: USEFUL.

Zachary: Jack is the boy of girl island!
Jack: Hee.
Jack: Watch me oppress them!
Zachary: Make them bake you sweaters.
Jack: Nice.
Jack: In the pregnancy room.

James: what is the word we are searching for here?
Beth: Linguistic?
Zachary: I KNOW ALL THE WORDS
Zachary: DICK
Zachary: ALL OF THEM

Thomas: There will be Norwegian black metal.
Zachary: Excellent.
Zachary: Google maps tells me it is a 23 hour drive.
Thomas: ....
Thomas: Hmmmmmm.


MAYBE MORE WHEN I FINALLY DIE.

Kicking and Screaming, Back into the Mire

I am already pining for the days when my prevarications alone dominated these humble pages, and I enjoyed the privilege of looking down my nose at James and Zach (and Cathleen (and Jack now! Holy crap!)) for not updating as frequently (NOR AS MAGNIFICENTLY) as I. I guess I'll also have to actually read their posts from now on.

Booo.

Cheer up, working class drones! It's Friday! Time to spend your filthy lucre to buy cheap hooch at the company store, so as to use the days of the weekend to forget the mindless drudgery of your button-down shirt, blue-collar, middle-managed lives! Piss your lives away in an orgiastic amnesia, hoping for a permanent solace that will only arrive with death!
Also, chat transcripts! Please to enjoy!

Cathleen: Seen cloverfield yet?
Thomas: Nope.
Thomas: You?
Thomas: Is it any good?
Cathleen: Yeah, I'm blogging about it now.
Thomas: ...Wait, by blog, do you mean Elevennames?
Cathleen: yeah.
Cathleen: por que?
Thomas: I... I just don't know what to say. Someone else is updating it. My world is flip-turned upside down.
Thomas: ...In a town called Bel-Air.

Thomas: a/s/l?
James: hate bullets.
Zachery: hills/male/space

Thomas: So staff meeting!
James: Yes.
Zachery: YEAH
James: Staff meeting?
Zachery: Staff meeting.
Thomas: ...Staff meeting;

Thomas: We are thinking of a sixth writerface.
James: Who is this person?
Zachery: Awesome.

Zachery: Also, Thomas, winword tells me your todaypost is 681 words, counting tags.
Zachery: So, uh.
Thomas: Hey, shut up.

Thomas: About half of our hits are me, logging in to see how many hits we have.
Thomas: The rest I presume are errors or HATED CANADIANS.
Zachery: BUT WE HAVE HITS THAT ARE NOT YOU
Thomas: IMPOSSIBLE

Zachery: Also, if you make me write in five paragraph style, I'll cut you.
Zachery: EVEN IF IT IS IMAGINARY INTERNETLAND NON-CONSTRAINING FIVE PARAGRAPH STYLE
Thomas: If I make you write at all, it will be worth it.

Thomas: Friday is Chat Transcripts day, so the only real effort I have to put into that is copying and pasting. And making us sound funny.
Thomas: So it's still a lot of work.

Zachery: Five writers. Two names (counting Thomas a becket as one, because hey) each, plus one writer with one name.
Zachery: FLAWLESS VICTORY.
Zachery: See?
James: What happens when we add more people?
Zachery: The victory stops being flawless.

James: Also, I will be significantly less crazy
James: once I sleep.

James: My mother>You.
Zachery: Yes yes yes, cell phone call.
Zachery: You're lucky I'm here to translate your madness tongue, James.

Thomas: I am greatly pleased with updatesplosion. Now if only Beth could type up some words.
Zachery: ...her internet connection is a wireless one that only works if the number of streetlights that are on in the street is evenly divisible by three.

Thomas: CHAT MEETING ZACH
Zachery: I am in it.
Thomas: LIES
Zachery: I MADE IT
Thomas: LIIIES
Zachery: YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE IT IS NOT NAMED A STRING OF NUMBERS
Thomas: I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M SINGING HYMNS

Actual content forthcoming. Save me a seat at the bar, girl scouts.

BONUS CONTENT:
Cathleen: fuck you!
Cathleen: with a rusty pipe that i ripped out of the walls and used to bludgeon the people who live downstairs
Thomas: Hi Cate!
Thomas: Wait what?
Thomas: Is this about James?
Cathleen: go look at 11names
Thomas: ...Oh dammit, I said Catherine instead of Cathleen?
Cathleen: YES!
Cathleen: like 10 times
Cathleen: my fucking name is on the top of the page
Thomas: But not on the posty screeny thing! It's my mother's name! Aliens, Cate, Aliens!

WE ARE ALL FRIENDS HERE HOORAY :D