In Which Theme Week is Totally Abandoned for Politics lol

"Well I've got to do something to help these people."
"Don't tell me you're actually developing a conscience."
"God I hope not, it's gonna be a fuckin' nuisance in Congress"
-Eddie Murphy in The Distinguished Gentleman

Ron Paul, y'all.

Sure, the man is arguably crazy, as a bevy of sickeningly low quality Ze Frank imitators also like to point out. But dammit, I like to vote for crazy people. And it's not like we're electing a god-emperor here, just a president - his powers are checked by two other branches of government. Maybe now Congress will have something to do that doesn't involve lobbyists and mistresses and cocaine (sorry, couldn't find a link, but YOU JUST KNOW IT AMIRIGHT?) and secret societies. Or maybe it will give them more than ever before! It's an exciting time to be alive, if only because gross negligence or sexy new diseases may change that fact at any given moment.

Dance with me! Dance the dance of life!

Hey hey, and Mitt Romney just left the race for president. Which is good. He looks like someone's wholesome dad, the kind who jokes with you and slaps you on the back and has good teeth. America wants a nutjob for president, not the dad from 7th Heaven.

It's a total fabrication, really, to assume that any of the candidates are of sound mental health. The election is a grueling process for a thankless job where you are essentially a fulcrum of power between promises you made to get elected (thankfully growing less and less relevant as the years progress) and the promises that you made to massive, faceless corporations, as all the while detractors curse your name, and sometimes shoot you (with varying degrees of success).

Worst of all are celebrity endorsements. And there are plenty of them. Celebrities are not well known for even keeping their own lives in check - why then should we listen to them over anyone else? I'm certain that will.i.am feels really strongly or something about Barack Obama. Could he manifest this enthusiasm in a less embarrass ing format? Obviously not.

Really, I just can't handle someone who I have hope in. Give me the Ron Pauls and Mike Gravels and whoever else, anyone who promises to slash and burn the government, to vivisect it's infected organs, a chirurgeon to either fix it or kill it, but just change it already. To have hope in the government is more and more a fool's errand, and worst of all, to overpraise the hucksters who would abuse our need for change for their own advancement (not to imply Obama is a huckster - just that he might be). I cannot handle any more dishonesty in office (well, I can, but I just really really don't want to), but I (hope I) can handle all of the anarchy that actual change might bring.

ITT: POLITICS LOL

"I took a class on Internet and Identity and you know what the whole thesis of the class was that people's identities change when their real one is shielded by the computer" - Tionna Smalls

Remember how, not five minutes ago, I stated my general displeasure with presidential candidates? Well, I am fickle and addle-brained. Cast your third eye (that's the internet eye) upon this twilight monstrosity, which is basically Ron Paul doing what Ron Paul does best, which is to say, be a crazy, lovable bastard. Mike Gravel is similar. Okay, okay. I give. I admit it that, for once, I was... slightly hasty in my judgment. We are sons of Adam - we are fallible. Let us forget that it ever happened. I endorse any candidate, any candidate at all, who is willing to basically flip the bird to the mass of the gathered republican party, dismiss them for the wastrels that they are, screams "FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE", and then leaps into the dinosaur-infested jungles, with a machete clutched between his teeth.

In short - hey, time travelers, if you're reading this, can you steal some kind of tangent universe Teddy Roosevelt to be our forever president? We'd totally owe you a solid.

Anyway, I bring this up not because I am suddenly ALL POLITICAL or whatevs, but because of YouTube. And to a lesser extent, Myspace. And to an even lesser extent, Fa-che-bewk. And their presence, and impact on modern culture, or whatever. You see, I was perusing this this unbelievably patronizing article about Kate Nash, a songstress of which I am fond, and the author brings up the good point that exposure is slowly becoming a substitute for quality, which, if you were able to decipher my terrible prose, is kinda what I've been saying all along. But it's cool. I mean, Sasha Frere-Jones, as an author, is at least marginally better than I am (remember when he said that indy music wasn't influenced by black culture? By citing the effing Arcade Fire? Yeah, man's not too hep, but it's not like the New Yorker is really with-it anyway) and hell, the dude can have his opinions or whatever. But on the point of exposure, he and I are of one mind. Which is partially what is so amusee about the current presidential race - that the standards to which we hold our pop star lady-types are actually quite a bit higher than the standards to which we hold the Executive Branch. In a way, the race to become president is less a matter of politics, and more a matter of simple celebrity. Whomsoever can make of themselves the most visible spectacle without being viewed as a dangerous madman (or at least a dangerous madman who won't let them queers get married) is going to be a winner. Which is perhaps why figures like Ron Paul and Mike Fucking Gravel (and, okay, I guess Obama is still kinda like this) favorites of the internet - they are identified as the underdogs. As surely as any real fan of music would spit contemptuously on a scion of Nickelback or Limp Bizkit (or Maroon Five or Daughtry or Li'l Wayne or Brittany Spears or...), so too does the discriminating voter wrathfully ponder who in their right mind would vote for Giuliani or Mitt Romney. There's just nothing there - an empty showcase of questionable achievements and corporate backing. In an age where exposure is increasingly becoming the the most important facet of any political movement (at least the non-Masonic ones), choosing the right candidate is not so much a matter of politics as it is one of good taste.

In that, the internet has created a sort of Blogger Brahmins, an elite caste of intelligent individuals, broadcasting the refined opinion, and formed loosely into tiny coalitions of like minded thinkers (except for us - we are far too hateful to ever have a links section). Our choice of presidential candidate, then, becomes part of our online cosmetics, our intellectual appearance. So too are we able to judge others based upon where their own proclivities lie. It becomes a matter of dangerously inbred little cliques who make choices not so much based on moral duty than controlling how they wish to be perceived. I am a freak in a schadenfreud complex with the republican party. Ron Paul all the way! I can see similar reasoning behind Zach's fondness for Mike Fucking Gravel and James's's Obama endorsement (of the three, which do you think stands the most chance of making it into the white house? HMMMM!).

I am glad that I vocally disagree with my comrades. I would not enjoy the thought that myself and all of my friends think the same way about any issue (and we are also able to almost always refrain from facestabbing each other with butter knives). There is enough groupthink and cronyism at large amidst what is arguably the largest audience ever devised - having massive appeal is no indicator of actual quality, as Sasha Frere-Jones states, and in the face of a future where everyone has their fifteen minutes of YouTube fame, we have to be aware of the debasements and personal sacrifices that come alongside the glories of wtf-ever kind of new metaverse is being shilled at us this week. Ha ha, run-on sentences. Okay. I am a grump and hate the future. THOMAS CARLYLE OUT~